Do you know what language your spouse or partner speaks? When it comes to sex, it could very well be a language different from your own. If you want a happier Valentine’s Day at home, read on!
Sex has a language unto itself – physical, verbal, and non-verbal. An internationally-acclaimed couple’s therapist and sex psychologist of over 25 years, Dr. Douglas Weiss has unleashed a breakthrough book that improves bedroom behavior and overall fulfilment and harmony in a relationship. 5 Sex Languages uniquely identifies how men and women need to communicate with one another about sex.
“We often try to sexually express love to one another the way we want to be loved without understanding our partner usually has an entirely different sex language,” notes Dr. Weiss, who has helped thousands of couples. “This can leave at least one partner feeling less than satisfied. In response, the other partner will often try harder and harder to please the unsatisfied partner – and using his or her own sex language.”
Dr. Weiss, who’s been featured on Oprah and Dr. Phil and in Cosmopolitan and USA Today for his dozens of earlier books, knows the 5 Sex Languages works not just from his professional experience. Married nearly three decades, he’s a recovering sex addict for over 20 years. He is also the president of American Association for Sex Addiction Therapy.
Media Connect just began promoting Dr. Weiss to the news media. Here is an interview with the author:
Q: What inspired you to write your newest book, 5 Sex Languages?
A: It came from helping couples repair their sex lives from the impact of sexual addiction or intimacy anorexia for over 25 years. Seeing these couples go from damaged to thriving once given a language and roadmap is inspiring to give these tools to others.
Q: Dr. Weiss, when did you discover the five sex languages?
A: This is more a journey of over many years of having couples explain their challenges sexually. I was learning that we are different sexually and that we are speaking different languages to each other. Once they can decode and translate, a couple has a better chance of optimizing their spouse’s sexual design.
Q: Why is having a healthy sexual relationship in a marriage or long-term relationship filled with such peril for so many couples?
A: Most couples love each other and want a good relationship, however, they lack two things. The first thing lacking is a language to really talk to each other about sex without sounding controlling or whiney. Secondly they need a roadmap to guide them through the whole conversation, not just bits and pieces over time. When a couple has both, the story is not one of peril but of peace and a happy ending.
Q: What are couple of the 5 different sex languages?
A: One sex language is Fun. This person wants to have fun during sex including different locations, being creative in different ways sexually etc. Patience is another sex language, they want you to take time for each phase of sex, savor if you will. They lean toward what is already familiar in location and behaviors. Yes these two are usually married to each other hence the need to understand each other.
Q: How do sexual partners of a different sex language begin the process of understanding and then working with each other?
A: First they need to really identify their own sex languages. This gives them a language to communicate their sexual preferences throughout each stage of sexuality from invitation to afterglow.
Q: Why do some people feel married but alone?
A: If they lack emotional intimacy and especially if they are married to an intimacy anorexic, they can, and will feel alone. Marriage has a certain structure to it to allow mutual satisfaction. Dating, sharing feelings, consistent sex, spirituality in some ways, praising each other, and pragmatically helping each other in all areas of life are needed. When the structures are weak or nonexistent, the fabric of marriage deteriorates and hence they feel unloved or alone.
Q: How can people improve their “sexual communication”?
A: Well of course they can get the book. They need to first understand and accept their partner’s sex language. Then they communicate through the stages of sexuality together in each language. The most fun part is practicing the others person’s sex language. You heard the saying practice makes perfect, well practice makes pleasure perfect as well.
Q: What are the three tips to having great sex tonight?
A: The three tips I have shared in the book have made a huge difference in people’s sex life from the first time they use it and thereafter.
- Eyes open: When making love look into the eyes of your partner, behold them and let them behold you, the real you. This capitalizes on how we are neurologically made to bond to what we see when we orgasm.
- Lights on: some form of light so you can see each other. It doesn’t have to be theatrical lighting, just candles are fine. What you see is what you bond to sexually.
- Nurturing conversation: It is really important that you talk during sex to make it a full person experience for each other. Try this, and when you can hear your sex language spoken you will never go back to silent sex again.
For more information, consult: http://drdougweiss.com/